When all of our children were younger, one of the questions we asked in our Nightly Examen with our children was, “Did I choose joy today?” Well, the way we asked it was, “Did I choose horses today?” Funny story…
The Birth of “Choose Horses”
You might wonder how we transitioned from “I choose joy” to the playful phrase, “Choose horses!” This happened after a long, rainy day in a camper with six kids. Feeling cramped and overwhelmed, I declared, “I choose joy!”
My then three-year-old, without missing a beat, shouted, “I choose horses!” His sweet, little innocent exclamation broke through the gloom and turned that particular moment around!
The Power of Affirmations
Our thoughts and words shape our experiences. Daily affirmations are the truths we tell ourselves. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” We can affirm ourselves positively, nurturing a mindset of joy. Even if we’re brand new to this concept, we start by planting seeds of joy…or thoughts of joy, that we then nurture and strengthen through repetition.
The beauty and power of affirmations is that they are entirely in my control. The only thing I can control in this life is my thoughts. I can choose to be a “Joy Thinker,” or I can choose to think thoughts of defeat and negativity. The nightly question, “Did I choose joy?” prompts us to reflect on the joyful moments of our day and reminds us that joy is a choice available to us at any moment.
Understanding Joy vs. Happiness
It’s essential to distinguish between joy and happiness. Joy is a conscious commitment to contentment and inner peace, regardless of life’s challenges. As Health Psychology notes, “Joy is an internal lasting emotional condition… an attitude of the heart or spirit.” In contrast, happiness is often fleeting, tied to external circumstances.
Choosing Joy in Difficult Times
So, how do we consistently choose joy? It begins with a decision to focus on the eternal over the earthly. A poignant example is my mother-in-love, who faced uterine cancer with unwavering joy. On Mother’s Day 2007, despite her physical suffering, she radiated a quiet and peaceful joy. She spent her last Mother’s Day surrounded by family, choosing to smile and love through her pain, reminding us all of the profound strength of the human spirit.
Her last couple of months on this earth reminded me of James 1:2-3 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” Again, this wasn’t a loud, “Happy” joy, it was a quiet and peaceful joy, not of this world or even explainable in worldly terms; it was a supernatural, divine joy.
Creating a Joyful Family Environment
As parents, we can cultivate a joyful environment for our children. Just like my mother-in-love, we can choose joy even amid what seems like the chaos and noise of everyday life. Here are a few practical steps:
- Nightly Examen: Before bed, ask your children, “Did I choose joy today?” This fosters reflection and gratitude.
- Daily Affirmations: Start each day with a family affirmation: “I choose joy.” Research shows that positive affirmations can enhance well-being and resilience (Cohen & Sherman, 2014).
- Joyful Moments: Look for opportunities to celebrate small victories and joyful moments, even in the mundane.
Call to Action
As you navigate daily life, I encourage you to adopt a mindset of joy. This week, make it a point to tell yourself and your family, “I choose joy.” By practicing this daily, you’ll begin to shift your perspective and notice more joyful moments.
If you’re looking for personalized guidance on cultivating joy and positivity in your life, consider a free 30-minute coaching session with me. Together, we can explore strategies tailored to your unique journey.
Claim Your Free Session Now! Let me introduce you to the transformative power of Christian Life Coaching. I boldly promise, not only will it change your life, but the life of your family, and the legacy of your family culture. Promise!
Let’s commit to being joy thinkers and watch how it transforms our lives and the lives of those around us!
Scripture References:
- Proverbs 18:21
- James 1:2-3
Remember, choosing joy is a daily practice.
Sounds like every family should have a code sentence for choosing their joy.
I read a book a long time ago, I don’t remember the title, the author, or the plot, but I remember one paragraph where the mother and daughter were discussing their “crown of thorns” of the day versus their “crown of roses.” Some days the crown was thorny, some days it was rosy, some days it was both.