When I have been in labor and delivery, the waiting room was empty, the phone in my delivery room was quiet–no calls allowed; I even had my name listed as private so no one even knew I was there unless they really knew me…and then they knew not to show up or call while I was laboring. Through seven births, there has only been two times someone other than Chris or the obvious nurses and doctor have been invited in. My mother in law was with us for our first birth and we had a Doula (in training) we invited in for our fifth birth. And even though Chris was in there with me, he did his thing quietly and I did mine. Labor and delivery is hard and sacred and scary and intense and private and it takes all of me for me. In the last couple of months I’ve delivered my first baby out into the adult world and more recently the Sirach Bible Study and Journal. I’ve been quiet, but productive.
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It seems some days–many days, I am simultaneously pregnant with words, laboring to let them form and at the same time bearing children–laboring as they grow and mature. The last couple of months, as I’ve labored along with children and ideas, I’ve slowly gotten quieter; retreated into the “Private–no calls–no one else in the room” place. And when they say transition is the hardest part of labor and delivery…goodness gracious if your firstborn turning 18, graduating and moving 1300 miles away while you’re bearing ideas, reflections and meditations for the Sirach Bible Study and Journal…well, I’ve been in a bit of transition lately. When things got quiet here, I was laboring, feeling the pangs of bearing children and words all at the same time.
Does that explain why it’s taken me a good, solid two days to make the joyous announcement here? I’m not sure. I’ve tried. I’ve announced on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram already. I just couldn’t find the right words for here. The older I get and the bigger the news it seems the quieter I become. Strange…or protective.
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Honestly, it’s almost like an ever present tension, bearing words and children simultaneously. That would explain the lulls occasionally here at The Littlest Way or why it takes me on average 2-3 days before I respond to a text or phone call. I am part hermit you know and funnily enough, my vocation and passion involves being around people–in real life or via technology all day long. And not only being around people–giving myself. And no one ever told me how hard this would all be. And no one ever told me how humbling this would be. And no one ever told me how tender my heart would be–for the good and bad.
Anyway, those words y’all? Knit and formed in my heart and mind…the ones that kept me up some nights making me uncomfortable with their growing pains…they formed real nice into a pretty book. That flower on the cover–it grew taller than me many summer’s ago out in my backyard. That picture reminds me so much of the Year I Needed a Hobby. So maybe…maybe I’ve been laboring with this book longer than I thought?
Sirach Bible Study and Journal We’ve talked about this book haven’t we? We’ve dreamed about bringing this gift into our lives. We’ve made plans for how to spend time with it and with each other. And it’s here! The labor felt longer than it actually was and the delivery had it’s own “funny story” {{insert BIG eyeroll}} And just like all my baby deliveries, my heart feels a little tender and definitely protective but Oh so happy, and dare I say…ready for another one.
But before we start talking about another one, let’s enjoy this one! I’ll post in the next couple of days about some giveaways I have for those of you who purchase the Sirach Bible Study and Journal so stay tuned!!
Tosha Schiffli says
I heard about your blog through your daughter. Love it. Can’t wait to read your book!
Jenny says
Welcome Tosha! Watch for details coming soon on reading the book in community here on The Littlest Way.
Kathy says
I just bought your book and I cannot wait for it to arrive.
Jenny says
Yay Kathy!! Watch for details about “Sirach Bible Study and Journal with Friends” coming soon.