Can I just tell you…I’m done. Like stick a fork in me and turn me over done. Chris has been out of town for the past three weeks, but almost home as I speak/write and Luke has been battling pneumonia for the past week. I haven’t slept a decent night one way or the other. And I’d be more than toast were it not for my big girls who are so capable to pick up my slack; I wasn’t at their age.
I sure hope I don’t cause any scandal, but I need an easy read of Philippians today. I’m reading Chapter one in the Message Bible. Sometimes it has the straight out, if not sometimes base talk I can handle in this state of mind. I’m not at a place of “Thee or Thou” right now. I’m not even at a “And then Jesus said…” Nope, I’m hanging on to, “And He was like…” I need Jesus. But more importantly right now, I need a friend in Jesus so I figure He’s ok with a pretty relaxed conversation between the Word and I.
Please Lord, have mercy on me as I struggle with learning to love appropriately, to use my head and test my feelings. It has been easy, too easy, to slip into a slothful state with Chris away. Quick meals with no real family connection…Lord have mercy on me. It has been too easy to slip into a sleep deprived grumpiness that only a visitor can pry me out of because I wouldn’t want them to think bad of me…Lord have mercy on me. It would have been easy to consider and wonder at a gossip/slander or calumny shared because it would divert my mind off my menial problems and struggles…Lord have mercy on me (and thank God for a wise spiritual father).
I don’t know that I have loved much or well and I can’t really see any flourishing going on, unless it’s my children stepping in to help a poor momma out, but I committed to this journey to joy and that has kept me accountable in these circumstances. It has kept St Paul’s Letter of Joy in the forefront of mind knowing I made a commitment to this little place on the web and you all. And for that I am grateful. God surely knows what He intends.
There’s far more to this life than trusting in Christ. There’s also suffering for him. And the suffering is as much a gift as the trusting.
†Philippians 1:29
And I’m not even kidding myself thinking I’ve suffered for Christ. I’ve just rattled off a list of small, first world “sufferings for Christ” and not only have I not suffered well…that list is pretty dang small and wimpy.
But I have considered my trust in God more and more.
My favorite Bible Journaling Resources
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Michelle says
“You need to use your head and test your feelings”
So, it looks like we need us some knowledge.
Do we believe that Paul is praying this prayer for us even still?
9. And this is my prayer: that your love may increase ever more and more in knowledge and every kind of perception,
10. to discern what is of value, so that you may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,
The gift of knowledge perfects the virtue of faith. It enables those who have it to judge the whole spectrum of creatures and objects from a supernatural viewpoint. Through infused knowledge the faithful can see God’s providence in whatever enters their lives and put creatures to the right use.
The gift of knowledge is often called “the science of the saints” because it enables those who have it to swiftly discern between the impulses of temptation and the inspirations of grace. St. John’s Roman Catholic Church (website for confirmation)
Lord, today I ask for an increase in knowledge so that we can more easily distinguish between the promptings of God and the subtle wiles of the devil. Amen
And amen to Chris’s return. Tim just got home from a week in Mississippi, so I really understand where you are coming from.
Jenny says
I really liked how you pulled knowledge out of this Michelle. Thanks for much food for thought.
Michelle says
No, thank you Jenny, for forever encouraging the sacred scriptures. I’m a bit behind on Philippians 2, but I’m hoping to do it in the morning, God willing. God bless and have a very good week.