Welcome to my 31 Days Writing Challenge! Day 30! I cannot believe how quickly this month and writing challenge has gone. I won’t lie, it has been hard at times and I’ve stayed up way to late, but I’ve also met some wonderful, faith filled bloggers. Let’s continue considering a good wife from the book of Sirach. We’ve talked about an intelligent wife, a modest wife, a good wife in a well ordered home and a good wife honors her husband. Today, “A Good Wife Makes Her Husband Happy.”
A Good Wife Makes Her Husband Happy
You know where I’m headed with this paragraph right? Yes, straight to my trusty Thesaurus. Here are some interesting synonyms I found for happy: peaceful, pleasant, blessed, looking good. Can I just say, a happy man is a good-looking man. A lot of times I will notice a man’s good looks because he has a nice smile or lively eyes.
A good wife allows her husband to be peaceful. There is nothing more appealing in this crazy world, than peace or someone who possess peace. I’m not saying they are in some zoned out place kind of peace. I am saying a person that does not enter the room carrying a bag of drama over their shoulder. Or how about a brave person–one who does not sidle up next to you ready to spill everything they think they know and lots of things they don’t. The husband of a good wife does not walk around with a chip on his shoulder, ready for the next fight, because that’s all he gets at home. He possesses a peace that allows him and those around him to just be and enjoy being.
There are some men who are completely different men when their wives are not around. They are jovial, thoughtful, encouraging, and entertaining. And then the wife walks in and you don’t have to know a thing about them to feel and see the tension. He immediately slumps, quiets and his eyes lower. He mumbles, stumbles and basically looks the fool she makes him out to be or tells him he is.
Wives, please, do not belittle your men. If you would not want that tone or those words directed at you, do not use them on your husband. It may make him look bad…but it makes you look worse. Whatever bad you say about your husband, reveals so much more about you than it does about him. It backfires. Maybe not in the moment; maybe in the moment people laugh but at some point later on it won’t be so funny.
In the middle of this post I sat down with my girls and watched a few minutes of Jeopardy, something I have not done in a long time–watch television. The commercials were insulting. Men are depicted are complete morons. Really? If you are unhappily married, please ask yourself–but ask first for the grace to see…is it because you have beat your husband down to a cowering fool? Well then, of course you’re unhappy. Who wants to be married to a coward who lets their wife beat them up spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally? Did I just hurt your feeling? Were my words too harsh? I’m sorry. They are not meant to hurt but only help…but how much harsher are you to your man?
Too often women push, shove, kick and scream to get their way and they are still unhappy because her husband wasn’t man enough to say no. And before you tell me I have no idea what I’m talking about…try me. I sure do, only my husband wouldn’t put up with my bullying. He stood his ground and instead of making him unhappy, I had to make myself happy. Did you get that? I only tried to bully and hurt him because I was hurt. I guess you could say I was a mean girl. But he loved me and himself to much to allow me to get my way by being mean and ugly to him. Thanks be to God my husband stood his ground. It forced me to grow up and spiritually mature. It taught me to love my God, myself and my husband.
Please, take a look, a real hard, honest look at your husband. The world would like nothing better than to beat him down. Are you just one more of the worlds tools meant to beat, abuse, and demean your husband? You are worth so much more than to be an instrument of destruction to someone you love…or once loved…loved enough to marry. Regardless of what your husband is like, have enough self respect to stop being a mean girl.
If you are hurting so much all you can do is hurt the safest person next to you–the one who won’t fight back or leave, please get some help–grab your Bible
And if you have children..stop it yesterday! Do not pass on your hurt to your children by making their father a fool in their eyes. Not only does that hurt your man–their father; it hurts your children. You don’t want your children to think they came from an idiot do you? I mean really, that’s what happens, they may join you in making fun of their dad, but it also makes them question who they are. That’s bullying your man when you turn the house against him and bullying your kids when you make them question who they are. You would not allow one of your children to be bullied at school, do not be lead bully at home...even if you end the bullying with a big fat “JK.” There is no kidding in this.
Click here to read more posts about a good wife.
Wow! You make some great points here. I have always believed that it is important to always say good things about my husband to other people, and aside from a few slip-ups have done that in our 12 years of marriage. The saying “Behind every good man is a good woman,” is so true.
You know, in this age of “feminism,” it is sometimes portrayed as weak for a woman to support her husband, when really it takes a very strong, brave woman to be able to do that.
That is funny that you would use the word “brave.” I have a post, “One Way to Spot Bravery” that uses the word brave in the context of how we use our mouth. I appreciate your comment Laresa.
I used to be best friends with a woman who would do this to her husband. It rubs off onto others. We are no longer friends, I refuse to speak that way about my husband to others. If we have an issue, we talk about it privately, not in public or in front of our friends. Wonderful points!
I completely agree! My mom used to tear my dad down in front of me and it was really hurtful. I hope that I won’t repeat that habit.
If we can be peaceful and create happiness at home with the ones we love the most, it’s so much easier to encourage people we don’t know!
Such a great point Anita!
Very interesting thoughts. It is clear that your marriage and family are very important to you.
Thanks Amanda. Yes, my marriage and family are very important to me…my reason.
So wise and true! Thank you Jenny!
Such good and much needed reminders here! Thank you : )
Thank you Sybil. Reminders for myself as well.
A man will gravitate to where he feels, respect, praise and peace. It is such an important to be that to our husbands. The only way we are able to fully do that is to have a relationship with God first. I love your click to tweet, a good wife is a wife who loves, and is at peace with herself! Great post Jenny!
I read a book once, I can see the cover but cannot remember the name! Anyway, they surveyed a large group of men and asked if they would rather be loved or respected. Respected won by a landslide!
Thank you for the great reminders.
You are welcome Charlotte! Thanks for taking the time to comment.
What a good challenge for us all to remember. The words we speak have such impact on so many.
I actually have a Pinterest Boards entitled “Words are Powerful.”
Choosing to see the positive has been a huge eye opener for my marriage. Also understanding that we are ALL sinners, and trying our best, and knowing the heart and intentions of my husband are good towards me changes the way I see my husband now.
I always try to remember to think, “Assume the best, forgive the worst.”
Wise, wise words. Thank you for lifting up our husbands and reminding us to do the same!
Hi Liz. It was my pleasure.
I love that we are both writing about marriage for our 31 days! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the subject here. It is hard to see ourselves and how we treat others. It is hard also not to respond to put downs no matter who is uttering them, or even if they are belittling you in other ways. Standing up to someone that has a pornography addiction is different than what you’re speaking of here, but I have to throw that in there because some times there is more going on behind the scenes than what meets the eye. One may think that the husband is being belittled by the wife, when the wife actually feels hurt and as low as she can feel due to what her husband has been doing in secret. So, there are two sides. If you’re just being mean to be mean, then I agree – it’s wrong. Don’t beat your husbands down, ladies. IF there are deeper issues, though, they need to be addressed with each other and with a counselor.
Blessings to you and yours,
Shirley
http://www.lightlovehope.com
Thanks Shirley for the thoughtful comment. Yes, I am speaking of a marriage not being attacked by the scourge of something like pornography. My intention as I wrote this was thinking about all the wives who belittle their husbands in public–just for the laughter or camaraderie it may bring–but for some, if the marriage is in serious crisis at home, out in public is the only place they get the upper hand. In both instances it’s wrong and only serves to inflict more pain and more harm into the marriage.
I love thinking about happiness in the context of being peaceful and at ease! Such a powerful way of looking at it as opposed to only seeing happiness as a fleeting feeling.
Thanks for your good words!
Hi Becky, it’s funny to think of happiness as more than a good feeling that lasts as long as the fun does. Some strive for that fleeting happiness when they could be so much “happier” if instead they looked for peace and contentment…the long lasting happy.